BPLA’s 1st All-Star game rocks the city of Orlando and myself.

Orlando Sentinel

ORLANDO—For the first time ever, the city of Orlando got what many baseball fans call the “Wrestle mania” of baseball. The city of Orlando earned the right to host the first ever all-star game in BPLA history. Let me be the first to tell you that it didn’t disappoint.

The two hour pre-game festivities was where the party was at before the big boys got their turn to shine. I got a chance to hang out with many of the leagues greatest players. Alfonso Soriano, Pat Burrell, Lance Berkman, Barry Zito and Mark Mulder all gave me autographed jerseys and introduced me to all the foxy cheerleaders from the Orlando Magic basketball team. This was a dream come true for me. I never expected to have so much fun with all these guys and girls. Then again, you can’t expect anything but the best treatment when you are the next big thing, since sliced bread, to hit the market. As I was gearing up for the all-star game, Christina Aguilera, the singer of the national anthem, walked by me and took my breath away. She’s even dirtier in person then she is in her music videos. I was going to ask her out on a date but Portland DH, Hiram Weitz, beat me to it. There was no way I was going to challenge that guy even if it was for my dream girl. The guy is the front-runner to win the MVP award if I hurt him Portland fans would be very upset. The guy’s got the discipline of a Buddhist monk, the power of Donkey Kong and the hitting ability of Ike Turner. I congratulated him on his success and wished him luck in the game. He gave me a wink and was off to the start of the all-star game. That wink got me excited like a giddy schoolgirl. The All-Star game was about to begin and I grabbed my seat reserved for media personnel. My heart was beating fast as the game was about to begin. The last time I was this excited was when I first visited the candy store with a five-dollar bill.

A sold-out crowd of 59985 was on hand at the Jungle, Orlando’s stadium, to witness the league’s elite players duke it out for Conference supremacy. The game was destined to be a pitcher’s dual from the get go.  Joel Perez, representing Columbus, was the starter for the Eastern Conference. Perez is a rock, with an 11-4 record and an ERA of 2.19. His counterpart was Mark Mulder, representing Oklahoma City. Mulder, like Perez, is extremely gifted. He came into the All-Star game with a record of 13-5 and an ERA of 2.99. I was right early on but as the game progressed the bats came alive and shut me up. After Mulder was pulled in the bottom of the fourth inning the Eastern batters drew first blood. LF, Pat Burrell, of the hometown Orlando Predators crushed a 403-foot homerun into deep right-center off of Mulder’s replacement, Ronald Maestas. The game once again turned into a pitcher’s battle between the Western League’s Ronald Maestas, who regained his composure, and Earl Simmons who battled the Eastern League’s Pedro Martinez and Marco Oubre. It wasn’t until the top of the eighth inning when Michael Contreras came on to replace Oubre that disaster struck for the Eastern All-Stars. Contreras walked his first two batters but then got back together registering a three six three double play. He would’ve gotten out of the inning unharmed if not for one, Ichiro Suzuki, who bashed a single to center allowing Genaro Dominguez to score. The Western League was finally on the board and in striking distance to take the lead. However, in the bottom of the eighth inning, the Eastern League blew the game wide open scoring two more runs of Samuel Orosco. Orosco had entered the game in the bottom of the seventh to replace Earl Simmons. Orosco started the inning off well with a groundball out. However, both his next to batters singled, putting the pressure on Orosco. After getting the next out, SS Richard Huckstep, another Orlando faithful doubled down the left field line scoring both Burrell and John Wilson. Going into the top of the ninth the Western All-Stars trailed by three. It is from this point on that the game became one to remember. John Prada, who came on and replaced Contreras, gets murdered by the Western League batters. His first five batters went like this: single, walk, groundout, intentional walk and lineout. So far so good, until Albert Pujols stepped up and ripped a double, scoring Vladimir Guerrero, Ozzie Sanchez and Weitz. The next batter, John Kam singled to score Pujols giving the Western League a 5–4 lead. Much to the dismay of the Eastern League supporters, the Western League had come from behind late to take the lead. In the bottom of the ninth it was all up to Albert Portillo of the Western League to shut the door on the game. Portillo got the first man he faced to strike out but gave up a double to Robert Works. For some reason the double played mind games with Portillo as he threw two consecutive passed balls allowing Works to score with ease. However, after the run he stayed focused and got the next two hitters to strikeout. Although the score was tied I didn’t care because this baby was going into extra innings. The next pitcher on the mound to represent the Eastern League was Barry Zito. After facing three batters Zito was in great shape. He had two outs and allowed a man to single. Then William Carroll came up and stroked another single allowing Sanchez to earn All-Star game MVP. Sanchez smashed a 363-foot homerun down the right field line giving the Western League an 8-5 lead. Zito was shaken up but managed to get out of the inning without allowing another run. Portill stayed on for the Western League and ended the ball game with a three up three down inning while earning his first career All-Star game win. Boy, was this one hell of a ball game. The city of Orlando staged a terrific All-Star game and I look forward to doing it all over again next year. Hopefully, it’s in Las Vegas so I can make a little extra money on the side winning at slots and entertaining some of those exotic showgirls.

Moe

If you have any questions, comments, death threats or love letters Moe can be reached at smoothe_sack@hotmail.com or KidKala on AIM