What’s With the Ugly Logos? 

The Toronto Star 

TORONTO-- First and foremost, I’d like to congratulate the Hartford Hobbits for winning the 2003 BPLA Championships. I don’t know how they won but they won. Since I got that off my chest I’m going to proceed and write my article on the state of league logos. If I upset you I don’t care because I’m vicious and journalism is cut throat. 

Let’s begin this article with the hideous logos. Boy!! This league is infected with tons of nasty ones. Out of all the logos in the world today, why does the BPLA have the worst ones? I’m going to make this easy and give a team-by-team breakdown on all the crappy ones. So here we go starting from least nasty to outright outrageous and blasphemous. 

5. Vancouver Jolts- this logo would be all right if I knew what the heck it was. To me it looks like a gigantic F with a shark popping out of it. Don’t get me wrong the name is nuts but the logo’s got to go. If the GM wanted Vancouver to jolt, the logo should have had an electric Eel or better yet the played out lightning bolt. D+ is the grade on this one. 

4. Winnipeg Bears- goodness gracious, what an ugly Bear. To me it looks like a cross between Smokey the Bear and the Father Bear from Goldilocks. One other question, why is the Bear, who normally prance in the nude, wearing a purple shirt? Overall, it’s not bad just the purple shirt needs to go. Also, a quick fix of the bear would suffice. As it stands now, the Bear looks lost due to a massive intake of crappy drugs. A D- grade will do for this horrendous display. 

3. Indianapolis Clowns- what was the former GM thinking? I have one word and it goes a little something like this, UGGGGGGGLY. First of all, what do two baseball bats have to do with Clowns? Secondly, the colors are nasty and make me want to throw up left, right and center. This logo needs a renovation and hopefully one will be provided very soon. Until then, get this crap out of my face. E- seems too good for this logo but the next two put this to shame. 

2. Wichita Linemen- okay, this is just outright nasty. Can someone please educate me and let me know what a thunderbolt has to do with Linemen? I’ll throw in some cash just so I don’t have to witness such travesties. I think Wichita and Vancouver need to make a blockbuster deal and trade logos. I’d give the Linemen a higher grade but the fact that their logo has no relevance to their name makes me laugh and cry all at the same time. The name is sick and so are the colors. The only thing not hip is that logo which for Greek mythology fanatics looks like the hand of Zeus. Other then that there is no positive to this symbol. I’m sorry but Zeus and Linemen don’t match. I’ll give this an A, for atrocious. F and that’s my final answer. 

1. Hartford Hobbits- how come Robin hoods homeboys are the poster boys for the championship winning team? Hopefully, all that money earned will result in a new logo. Wow!! I don’t think there are enough words in the English language to describe how I feel about this symbol. I’d have a change of heart if they had baseball bats but even that is lacking. This is probably the ugliest logo on this planet no forget that in the universe. Hobbits didn’t even play baseball back in the days of Kings and Queens. The GM is cool but too bad he has no taste when it comes to logos. What was the GM thinking? Nasty, nasty and even nastier. F- is what does logo deserves.  

There you have it. The 2004 analysis of crappy and ridiculous 2003 team logos. All other teams not mentioned have earned my respect or weren’t crappy enough to make the top 5 list. However, don’t get too happy because your team might be a victim next season. Hopefully, the owners I bashed today do something to save face. If they don’t they’ll get it even worse next year. 

Moe

I’m looking forward to hearing from those owners I victimized. Give me a reason as to why you shouldn’t be on my top 5 nasty list. Reach me at smoothe_sack@hotmail.com or KidKala on Aim.